How to go to the World Cup in 2014

As Christmas approaches quite rapidly, I am reflecting on 2010 quite a bit. We haven’t posted much lately, Chamo has been swamped with school and Biggy has been quite busy with work. Not to mention we are both quite lazy (I am honest and not afraid to admit that my free time has gone to some other things of late. I love writing about soccer but

Celebrating in Fan Zones is awesome. Especially with ironic American hipster visors.

my interests are quite diverse, thank you very much) and both of us have never been big on writing just for writing’s sake. 2011 will bring us a lot of USMNT soccer, which I enjoy writing on, and hopefully 2014 will bring us something that Chamo will write about (An Arsenal EPL title perhaps?). However, I hope that this piece is worthwhile enough that it sticks with you going into 2011, and you too can enjoy the most marvelous event in the world in 2014 and do it in a fashion that does not stress your finances and threaten your relationships with any of your significant others or children as you pillage their college funds/rent money/vegas fund. Or do it, the trip is probably worth it, what good is a child that doesn’t like you anyway? Mind you I am not married and have no kids, so my advice on this is to be ignored wholeheartedly.

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The Ghosts of 2002/MLS playoff hookup

Hi, we’re Constantly Offside. Or Constantly Offline, really up to you how you look at it. The good news is that we are super busy, as Chamo and the club team just qualified for Nationals in Arizona and Biggy works lots. We will start writing again for sure, but just a couple quick thoughts.

Word up to the SF Giants. I’ve cheered for them since I was 5, just after we moved to the West Coast. Pretty awesome day. If you don’t remember, 2002 was a pretty brutal year for Giants fans, as we were a lead in game six away from winning it all. A painful handball, as in Dusty Baker handing Russ Ortiz the ball as he left the game cost the Giants. It made me think of another painful 2002 handball, a German Torsten Frings handball that also crushed my soul. Tonight, the ghosts of 2002 were vanquished on the baseball side. I have hope that they will be for the USMNT too. It will just take time. Someday, 2002 will be completely redeemed and I will be overjoyed.

If you don’t have playoff MLS tickets for the next round and you need them, at some stellar prices, check it. You can get them below face value for each of these games. viagogo has them for some great prices, and they are a high quality ticket exchange that we highly recommend.

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All of these tickets have pretty solid discounts off face value. If you don’t have your tickets, for sure the way to get them now. Check it!

A Game Worse than England v. Algeria

Sorry for the severe lack of posts recently, especially on my end. Club soccer has started up for me again which leaves me with little time between training, class, and games to watch matches, let alone write about them. That said, yesterday I was able to watch the USMNT take on Colombia in a match that I thought would be interesting, at least tactically, given the player options that were available to Bad Decision Bob. Unfortunately what I got was a match that was much, much more boring and excruciating to watch than when my England team took on Algeria during the World Cup.

I was astounded to see that Bradley had actually <gasp!> decided to give the 4-3-3 a try, though the player selection for his experiment was questionable at best. Holden, though formerly an outside player, has been solely playing center mid recently, and it showed as he was asked to play right wing in the first half. I’ll comment on the abomination that was Brek Shea’s debut later. Jozy looks lost without a strike partner, and quite obviously has NO IDEA how to play the striker in a three man front system.

In the center there was an even scarier selection of players. It looks as though Bob wanted to run a Chelsea-style triangle system in the middle, with one more defensive CM, one slightly more attacking, and a linking player in the middle. This, however, was shot to hell within four minutes of the start of the game, and eventually it looked as though Mr. SweatPants scrapped the plan and just yelled at both Michael Bradley and Jermaine Jones to get more advanced, while Edu was left to sit defensively. Bradley ran around the entire first half like a chicken with his head cut off, Jones tried to find space and distribute, but received only hospital balls all game, and Edu didn’t look ready to play a match at all, in fact Tiddlywinks might have been more up his alley last night.

The back line was the “shining light” of the lineup last night, which I say simply because they weren’t the most abysmal thing on the field. Onyewu looked a bit more stable, Pearce had a decent first half defensively, Lichaj was solid and easily had the best debut of the two newbies, and Guzan saved the USA from losing the match in the first 10 minutes.

While I have focused almost exclusively on the USMNT and their failings, let me mention that Colombia was equally as useless in this match, and couldn’t string together more than two consecutive passes the entire second half. Both teams played like they had no idea who their teammates were on the pitch, and looked completely devoid of creativity the entire match.

Here are just a few notes from the match that I noticed:

  • I realize he is the coaches son, but does he have to play every 90 minutes of every match (including friendlies) every time there is an international break? Aside from goalkeeper, the one position that has tons of depth is center midfield, but we are not graced with the option of watching a pairing (or three man set, as in last night’s case) without Baby Brad on the field.
  • On that same note, Michael Bradley was the WORST player on the field yesterday for the USMNT, his passing was terrible, his positioning was worse, and he tried way too hard to force the ball in the attacking half through the Colombian back line.
  • Jermaine Jones, on the other hand, was solid and looked the most composed in a frantic game. I realize fans don’t want to embrace the German star just yet, and don’t want to give him too much faith or credit after two friendly matches, but I shudder to think what the USMNT center would look like with a Jones-Torres pairing (Jones’ defensive strength and poise with Torres’ linking ability).
  • Jozy can’t play a three man front system. He sits on the last defender, which isn’t how he should be playing. He should check to the ball, draw the defense with him offering lanes for the outside men to utilize.
  • However, he had no support from his outside players. Holden never really played right wing all match, dropping much too far back in defense to be considered a winger, while Brek Shea spent the first half running away from the ball at every opportunity.
  • Lichaj is good, I can see why TSG has a huge man-crush on the kid.
  • Heath Pearce played impressively in the first half when the US was under the most pressure, but was completely useless when attacking, especially in the second half when the US dominated possession.

Overall it was simply an ugly, boring match. Neither team deserved to win or lose. I think there were three total shots in the match from both sides combined (1-Colombia, 2-USA) and at most Colombia should have scored the one chance they got (nice save by Guzan) and Jozy should have put away his headed opportunity (Poor header placement).

Section 8 kicks it old school

MLS fans are epic. Soccer fans are way more creative then any others. This is just awesome. Congrats Section 8, that was magnificent.

Things that are stunning

I promise this will be worth twenty minutes of your time. By far the coolest time lapse/set of time lapses I have ever seen. Makes me want to go to Paris desperately and to get my new camera in action.

Big ups to the Seventh Movement who shot and produced this piece of art. Nice work Thom.

45 Minutes in Cape Town

How do you define your team’s World Cup and your support for them? In my case, it was 45 minutes in Cape Town.

Let me paint you a picture. One you likely remember clearly, with simple thoughts. Most of them include swear words. Mine certainly did. After a promising draw against England where Altidore scuffed the post and sent my heart on a path it likely will never recover from, team USA looked to have steam behind them as they faced Slovenia. We were in Cape Town for the England-Algeria game, one that I will never forget thanks to the fact it was so boring a bird roosted on the goal for the entire second half undisturbed. Strike and I got decked out and we headed to the fan zone in Cape Town to find lots of our brethren ready to cheer on our boys. A pleasant surprise to say the least. A day full of anticipation and wonder was off to a marvelous start as we approached kick off with nice weather and lots of USSSSSSAAAAAAAA chants. Quickly that day turned into a nightmare. If the Brazil – USA Confederations Cup first half felt like I was walking in a dream, this was the utter and total opposite. I was stranded in a nightmare that I could not believe was real.

By halftime, I was near tears. Completely frustrated and helpless. It’s not often that you see everything you have dreamed of slipping away right in front of your eyes. I remember just getting down on my knees and praying. Desperately. That my team, the guys who had come inches from locking up the driver seat only days before were suddenly inches from boarding a flight home after a meaningless game against Algeria. Everything I believed in was being pushed to the brink. Could I deal with heartbreak in two consecutive summers? Where would I find Flamin Hot Cheetos and Entourage seasons one through three to console me like I had for two straight days after the US-Mexico game at Azteca? How would I get past this one? These thoughts were blazing through my head like heat searing my soul. I was clinging to a thread of hope, a desperate string that a team that looked utterly worthless in the first half could deliver a miracle on the world’s biggest stage. I had turned down Chamo’s offer to buy me a very large beer because I knew if the score stood I would quickly become irrational and alcohol would not help that cause in the least. And then 45 minutes began.

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The Darker Side of the Greatest Event on Earth

When you were a kid, did your parents ever have company? Mine did, and my mom was always so insistent on the house being spotless for them. I never understood it. Why is the goal when you bring other people around to make your house looks like no one lives there? So generally I would clean for about five minutes, wait until she walked out of the room to deal with something else, then shovel my mess under my bed. Efficient, effective, and over. I still don’t understand it to this day. In South Africa this summer I got a flashback of my own experience doing that. It was if South Africa decided they didn’t want the world to see their mess, so they shoveled it under their bed. Yet one of the moments that is most vivid in my mind still brings me back to the spot where I saw a glimpse of South Africa’s mess.

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The Evil Return of Bad Decision Bob (and the Options that Could Have Been)

And here I thought his time was up

In a shocking turn of events that makes no sense to most USMNT fans, even those that liked the bald-headed poor decision maker, Bob Bradley has been hired on for four more years of torturing Biggy and providing enormous amounts of comedy fodder for Chamo.

Seemingly a second choice decision from Gulati, it was made only after it was clear Jürgen Klinsmann still wanted Gulati to step off his preaching chair and let the coach actually change the system. Of course Mr. Gulati never had any intention of removing his ever-present political roster choices from the cards, so he fell back on his bald headed friend, Bob Bradley.

That said, Bradley also looked for greener pastures in Europe, and was even tipped to get a chance to manage at Aston Villa given the American Randy Lerner connection, but nothing ever came to fruition. Frankly, the Villa move would have spelled disaster for Bradley, and he was better off looking for a smaller European spot that wasn’t in the turmoil that the Midlands team currently sees itself in.

So, despite a flurry of names being thrown out from all ends of the USMNT supporters sections, from Pekerman to O’Neill, Sunil Gulati offered Bob his second stint at the helm.

Let me get a few things out of the way:

  1. Forget all this garbage about second term coaches. The reason you get hired on as a second term National team coach is because you did something right the first time, so naturally you are already set up for failure. This is why the statistics go against the second term men. It would seem insane not to have hired Bruce Arena back after his miracle run in 2002.
  2. In reality, there really weren’t a whole lot of options. Klinsmann of course is always on the list, but all these names were pretty much just a whole lot of hearsay. The real pool was a bunch of current MLS coaches, but only a few have any national experience (Like my choice, Sigi).
  3. Regardless of your belief, the USMNT is just as political as the Argentinian team, meaning Gulati and the higher-ups like to have a certain amount of control over the player pool and development. This limits your managerial options, because coaches like Klinsmann won’t deal with it.

Why it was the Wrong Decision:

1) Favoritism: Bob Bradley has given a lot of players opportunities to play for the National Team in controlled arenas, which is great. However, when it comes to the important matches, Bob plays favorites.

Even in friendlies, Bob is unwilling to alter a good selection of players. Michael Bradley, DaMarcus Beasley, Rico Clark, Brian Ching, Oguchi Onyewu, Robbie Findley, Jonathan Bornstein, and Carlos Bocanegra are all examples of Bad Decision Bob’s favoritism. While in certain cases he is forgiven because a lack of positional depth (Bornstein) other times he is not (Rico Clark, I can name at least 3 other CM’s in the player pool better than him).

The issue with this comes down to the talent he will end up wasting. Jose Francisco Torres is the best center mid the USMNT has ever seen in terms of passing ability, poise on the ball, and control. However, since he refuses to pull Baby Brad off the pitch, even for a friendly match, you are unlikely to ever see how Torres pairs with Edu, or Holden, or even Benny for that matter. That is just one example of where favoritism hurts the US.

I can smell the French from here.

2) Futbol: I’m not talking about Brazilian Samba football, but I am talking about learning some attacking possession, not boot and run. The US has been playing the same slingshot offense for years, and refuses to go away from it. They possess it in the back, then boot it forward and hope that Jozy, Chuck D, or, now that Bradley is back at the helm, Robbie Findley can chase it down and start something.

It’s no wonder that the US forward line scored less goals than England’s (England had one… USA had none). The US relied on the impressive Landon Donovan to provide all the attacking prowess in the World Cup, but the Ghana game showed what happened once a team stuck someone on him the entire match.

People often point out that the US out possessed three of the four teams they played in South Africa. Possession does not equate directly to attacking ability however. The USMNT possession is too far away from the goal, and you hardly ever see a winger fight to the corner, not see an option and pass it back to start the play over. The team needs a mindset overhaul from a foreign coach, even if only for two years, so they can learn patient football.

3) Expectations: Aside from winning the 2014 World Cup, Bob cannot succeed. I know I already said to forget about the second term coach syndrome earlier, but this is different.

With everything Bradley has achieved for the US, with the success at the Confederation Cup, a decent World Cup, the 2007 Gold Cup victory, Bob cannot possibly succeed. Every small mistake will be scrutinized, any loss will be torn apart.

The USSF was better of finding a replacement, if nothing else, to detract from the watchful eyes that will undoubtedly be placed on Bad Decision Bob every match till 2014.

The Other Possibilities:

Jürgen Klinsmann:

  • Advantages: Knows how to play the game, and can teach the US to play with some attacking flair. Could get the most out of Jozy, and would utilize JFT. Possibly most important, he would completely revamp the youth system to produce more quality players, earlier in their careers, at the expense of a college education. Lives in California, has National Team experience.
  • Disadvantages: Sunil Gulati would be bitter the entire time that someone else came in and did his job better than he did, while he was still technically hired (I’m referring to the youth system). Also unlikely to have instant success since he would likely change the entire way the USMNT plays. Could potentially be a huge failure.

Martin O’Neill

  • Advantages: Out of a job currently, but known for getting the most out of players considered to be mediocre, or not performing at their potential. Northern Irish, so would likely produce a USMNT vs. Northern Ireland friendly that Biggy and Chamo have been dreaming of for years. Also wears sweatpants to all games, so aesthetically not a huge change for USMNT supporters, though the glasses would be a new touch.
  • Disadvantages: No National Team coaching experience, British accent, and like Klinsmann, likes to have more power over his team than owners are willing to allow him. Would likely transform Jozy into Heskey, which would horrify USMNT fans.

José Pekerman:

  • Advantages: I was surprised at the amount of people who threw this name around. I really don’t believe he was ever an option, but talk about learning to play beautiful football, this would be your man. Again, likely see more creative players than run and gun, get rid of Findley, see more JFT. HUGE emphasis on youth production.
  • Disadvantages: English… The whole language barrier potential issue. He, too, would likely want a revamp on the youth system, and Gulati seems unwilling to let anyone tell him how to run his program.

Any MLS Coach:

  • Advantages: Know the MLS system, see the upcoming talent and know the system in the US. Likely wouldn’t demand anything from Gulati like the big wigs were. Some have USMNT experience (Sigi).
  • Disadvantages: No change in style of soccer. Nothing too interesting, basically implementing a non-bald Bob Bradley.

Disagree with me? Let me know in the comments!

Week 3 EPL Predictions (Late, we know)

Biggy, being as useless as he ever has been in his life, fell asleep writing his predicts… literally, you’ll see where he stopped typing and passed out.

Either way, they must be posted, and Chamo has to extend his lead, because last week was a rather poor performance by my own high standards.

Week 3:

Biggy:

  • Blackburn 1 – 2 Arsenal: Let’s talk about Cesc baby!
  • Blackpool 1-3 Fulham: Blackpool runs into beastly………..(beastly what Biggy!? Beastly Pantsil own goals!?)
  • Chelsea 4  – 0 Stoke City
  • Tottenham 3 – 0 Wigan
  • Wolves 2 – 2 Newcastle
  • Man Utd 3 – 0 West Ham
  • Bolton 1 – 0 Birmingham
  • Liverpool 1 – 1 West Brom
  • Sunderland 1 – 2 Man City
  • Aston Villa 0 – 1 Everton

Chamo:

  • Blackburn 1 – 2 Arsenal: Arsenal bitch and complain too much about people that actually know how to get stuck into a tackle, but they still win.
  • Blackpool 1 – 1 Fulham: Fulham have yet to impress me at all, meanwhile Blackpool are my favorites to stay up currently (cue memories of Burnley last season).
  • Chelsea 3  – 0 Stoke City: Chelsea are on fire, but I have faith in Sorensen to make it respectable.
  • Tottenham 4 – 0 Wigan: Wigan. Are. Terrible.
  • Wolves 1 – 1 Newcastle: Two words. Ebanks-Blake. Two more words. Andy Carroll.
  • Man Utd 2 – 0 West Ham: United will win, Grant will get fired soon.
  • Bolton 2 – 2 Birmingham: Bolton have been… impressive? Birmingham meanwhile, love to draw.
  • Liverpool 3 – 1 West Brom: Liverpool need a big victory under Hodgson, nowhere better to do it than Anfield.
  • Sunderland 0 – 2 Man City: City aren’t perfect, but Sunderland are floundering.
  • Aston Villa 2 – 0 Everton: Villa need to recover in major fashion, especially in the matchup of American keepers.

Biggy’s EPL perfection…I mean predicts.

Arsenal – Ah yes, it’s our year. Finally. Chelsea is talented and it will come down to the final day, but the absurd talent that is The Arsenal finally gets it done behind a rested Cesc and a revitalized RVP plus the epicness that is Arshavin. I mean how can’t you like him? He scores amazing goals, looks like a six year old, and has the best website I’ve ever seen.

Chelsea – They have the fatal flaw. Champions League is theirs but age and depth hold them back in the league. They stumbled last year, they will again, but this time it will cost them. Drogba lights it up in all the games where they don’t need goals, but the offense sputters in January as they watch their early lead slip away for good.

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