Depth Charge
Your Constantly Offside boys, in the flesh, Chamo can't seem to find the right camera to look at though.
The game played in the HDC, not the LBC this weekend was just that, a depth charge. How would the US react to playing against a side that was starting some of its World Cup qualifying side with little experience and star power behind it? They were rocked by the explosion. Filled with little and great big holes, the US side was pretty much trounced on an occasion that could have been a spectacular learning experience. Some tidbits before I get down to what was really important in this game.
-Chad Marshall, when we suggested you head for Europe, it wasn’t for holiday or even cuz you so fly you could pull those Euro hotties. No, it was because you need sharpening and only constant better competition is going to do that. You sir might have played yourself out of a spot on the 2010 roster. Not pretty.
-Dear Referees, friendlies are no place for red cards, especially abominable snowmanation red cards in the seventeenth minute. Balls that are shot over the top plus bad dives do not equal scoring chances and red cards. Another poor CONCACAF display, at least the play is catching up to UEFA, when will the reffing?
-Dear Sasha, Marvell, and Heath. Go learn to play better against tougher competition. Otherwise, let other people have a shot with the national team.
The real story here is the trip to LA for the January USMNT affair. This is the third year running I have made the trip, and it has gotten progressively better. The first year we were late, thanks to me. I had a headache, and we managed to get lost in Long Beach looking for food post game. An adventure to say the least. Last year we lost a member fifteen minutes into the drive, took him home and then headed down, enjoyed the signature Absolute Peach plus In N Out pink lemonade in the parking lot, and our merry fivesome (that’s hot) had a glorious time yelling “SAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAA” which was our primary phrase all night. The HDC was sparsely populated so I thought, this was tons of fun playing soccer in the parking lot, some dudes from Huntington Beach joined us and swapped beers to shotgun for access to our juggling circle all in the name of US soccer, and we even caught a decent game where some young guys shined. Let’s do it big next year. So off we embarked.
I flew from San Fran as having a job both affords you some luxuries like flying down for a game (much love to Virgin America), and denies you the glory of the night before festivities in SLO. Grabbing my boy Tron (he and his lovely wife Kell are not only the most awesome married couple around, but own a spectacular airbed that they let me use for multiple nights) and late to the party friends Dash and Cym, we took off toward the Home Depot Center with the goals of coordinating five cars at once, finding some wings that were not from Wing Stop as they are not up to Cym’s taste standards (however Ralph’s certainly is) and trying to find the proper usage for WORD! in a sentence or normal conversation. Trust me, it is so much harder then you would think. After rendezvousing with Nuge and his friends and Drew and his buddy we attempted to meet Chamo and his carful at Ralph’s. Apparently, Chamo struggled finding the Ralph’s that was maybe two blocks from the stadium and ended up elsewhere. I managed to grab a bottle that resembled the most red disco ball I had ever seen, and we loaded up on chicken. Lots of chicken. We had fried chicken, chicken wings, and bbq wraps. We headed to the stadium after combining into two cars, 11 of us, two five seat cars, you get the picture, and we found a nice spot in what seemed to be a Honduran fan infested parking lot. Section 13 what it do?!? Nearby were some of our American colleagues and Chamo and his merry band quickly joined us with…………. more fried chicken. Literally we were a KFC that served alcohol. Just the picture of class.
Our festivities in the parking lot included, and this is a rough estimate to say the least: Shotgunning hooray we are here beers, juggling the soccer ball, wagering on who would jump on a moving car first, eating chicken, meeting Dan from FBM, eating fried chicken, attempting to light a Honduras poster on fire, eating chicken wings, both the Stanky Leg and Skrtel the turtle dance which our youtube can provide you ample demonstrations, eating chicken wraps, yelling a lot at the Honduran fans, joining the American dance party, and eating fried chicken. As a result of these endeavors, Constantly Offside will also be known as the Free Chicken Movement. Mind you, this was all pregame. As we strolled off to the stadium I learned something that I hadn’t completely realized before. American Soccer is serious business, regardless if it is just a friendly. I was so fired up and was not having any trash talk from any of the Honduran fans. At all. I was so kind to remind them that they made the World Cup based on a goal scored by an American, and that they should be eternally grateful. Friendly or not, US Soccer is something I take incredibly seriously, especially in person. Just about everyone there could testify to that. After Lindsey and her friend who’s name I did not catch joined us, we entered the stadium where we went one for two on sneaking things in. Successful was a sandwich, not so much was a Bud Light. We immediately bypassed our assigned seating and made a beeline for the American Outlaws section. They were loud and proud, and much more creative then our Honduran counterparts, which made me proud to be a member, and to be yelling like a loonie with them.
Brief side note: Hon-Du-Ras, which was Honduras’ one chant, sounds incredibly close to F*ck-U-S which actually amused us.
The game itself was meaningless, and was rendered more so by the quick red that left Bad Decision Bob and his crew scrambling. A dangerous strike from Robbie Rodgers rallied us, and the goal by Goodson left us in a frenzy, especially after the goalie stayed down to accept an imaginary acting award with a lengthy acceptance nap. However the US could not breach the backline of a mediocre Honduran side, and we were left to wonder what would have happened if Conrad hadn’t picked up the world’s most pointless red. Our crew in the crowd had a great time chanting and singing and making fun of each other, sharing that camaraderie that truly only soccer fans have.
After exiting the building while enjoying one or two or twelve verbal spats with the opposing fans, we headed back to the parking lot and played a little two on two with our previously used Absolute shot red cups as goals. One false step later and I managed to flatback myself while reaching for a ball that eluded my right foot. As more people trickled out, we continued to play until security kicked us out of the parking lot. A spectacular day to say the least.
More than anything, I was proud of the American supporters who were there, and embarrassed by those who weren’t. Sad to say, it might be time to look for a new home for the Janufriendly as the American support there was just pathetic. Shocking when people like Dan and his wife fly in from Texas to rep the Free Beer Movement, our friends the Shin Guardian were in the house (even though we failed to meet them) and the Constantly Offside crew could roll out from both NorCal and CenCal. I understand the game doesn’t have a ton of importance, but getting out there with your fellow patriots, seeing some young talent, and supporting the national team as a whole in a World Cup year is critical. Give the Bay Area LA’s World Cup hosting spot, as at this point they don’t deserve it. If you cannot come out and support the team the one time they are in LA this year, Southern California doesn’t deserve to have any more games. Horrific that Honduras has a home game in one of the biggest soccer states in the country. Just horrific. In the meantime, as long as the game stays there, Constantly Offside intends to be there, with a bigger crew next year. Maybe we will even get DJ Strawberry out there….WORD!
Biggy is an angry US fan, bitter about the turnout at the game, the game itself, and that Chamo’s facebook picture is him with a Honduran fan. YOU DON’T EVEN LIKE HONDURAS CHAMOOOOO. But you can't beat a good Danny Califf chant.
